Sometimes life gets overwhelming. Sometimes it's our own thoughts that create the chaos. Of what could've been, of what was and who we were in the past. Getting stuck in the urge to constantly push ourselves into oblivion. Maybe to compensate for any mistakes we've made. But at what cost?
A sacrifice I am no longer willing to make. The constant need for approval is exhausting. The need to prove my worth through selfless actions isn't actually as rewarding as you think it is; because subconsciously there is an expectation of an energetic exchange. An unrequited expectation for love.
I am tired of reflecting and ruminating over my past mistakes. I gift myself momentary reprieve through intentional forgiveness. But on some days, it's fleeting. Sometimes, I ride the wave of "flow" and catch a glimpse of what life could be like if I just allowed myself to let go. It's difficult sometimes to forgive myself, even though I have gained so much wisdom and appreciation for the lessons. There is a dark, lingering feeling of regret. Oh shadow, my dearest friend.
Then I remember to breathe. Slow. Deep. Meaningful breaths. Breathing in the loving life force of the Universe into my Soul. Breathing out all the dark particles that have been embedded in my bones. Breathe in. Breathe out. Feel my bed beneath me. Hear the cars driving by. Feel the warm feeling in my solar plexus. Let go and allow.
"Breathe, my love. You are perfect just as you are."
I hear my Higher Self whispering the sweet words of love into my heart. A gentle, kind reminder, that everything is going to be okay.
"You are safe, loved and protected. Trust."
My Creator, please cleanse me of any thoughts, feelings and memories that no longer serve me. Lift me up, so I may rest; with peace of mind, clarity and love in my heart. Mother Mary Magdalene, please help me dissolve any fears, worries an
d regrets, so I may find freedom through forgiveness. Thank you for lifting me up out of the darkness, through your Divine love. Amen.